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I love living in Colombia; I woulnt be here if i didn´t. But as an Irishman, there are just some things about the country which baffle me. Maybe it’s a difference in culture or maybe its just me, but to this day I still have no idea about them.
1. The buses here are small and cramped, but that’s fine with me. What I cannot understand is Colombians attitude on them. Colombian people love the aisle seat it seems, they never move in and you know what that suits me as I am always one to be looking out the window. Standard protocol around the world is for the person on the outside to get up and let you slide in. Standard enough, except this is Colombia, so that’s clearly not the natural thing to do.
No, what happens is, regardless of the person´s size, they twist around and turn sideways and then you’re expected to slide in between them and the seat in front. I am the first to admit I have some junk in the trunk so squeezing in can be slightly difficult and awkward. But still, it seems having my rear gently caressing their face is preferable to the effort of standing up for 5 seconds.
2. The Arepa is a staple food of the Colombians diet. It is served with anything & everything. I am not sure why though. It´s made from ground corn dough or cooked flour and honestly I cannot think of a blander or more dull thing to eat. God forbid you mention your dislike of them to a Colombian. They launch into a 30 minute argument of how they are truly magnificent. There is such admirable fire and passion in the argument that I fall into the same trap everytime. I say that I am going to give it one more shot & try the one from X location as clearly that’s the arepa that will change my entire outlook. Yet every time I swear never again. It seems that I am doomed to be forever stuck in this endless cycle of flowery fancy & doughy disappointment.
3. Picture this, your new girlfriend, it´s Sofia Vergara. She is smart, funny, caring and simply astonishing. Clearly perfect? Well yeah, except for one minor detail, once you are with her, you are with her… all the time. It´s like the start of an Indiana Jones movie, she is the golden idle and when you have it there is no escaping the giant boulder chasing you down. I know this is just a cultural difference but sometimes it´s just too much when holding hands 24 hours a day, sending texts every 20 minutes asking where I am despite clearly being at work and after four dates changing her name in my phone to “Mi Vida, Mi Amor” My Life, My Love (Needless to say that conversation was slightly awkward).
I am sorry darling but just because I walk down the street with my hands in my pockets does not mean I do not like you anymore, much like how I have these issues with Colombia it doesn’t take away from the fact I love it for so many other reasons.
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Muchas gracias!
